Are You a Loser?

In a hypersensitive world of bawling our eyes out over spilt milk, I still use some gruff and tumble language from days of yore and have not removed the word “loser” from my vernacular. 

Stereotypically, the word loser conjures up the image of the jerk bully in school, who pushes around the braced and glassed up bookworm while taunting him with the label “loser”. Ironically, the tormentor, is, in fact, the quintessential loser. 

Life isn’t always that simple. Maybe said bully has an abusive home life, is a neglected child, and terrorizing other kids in school is a façade for a scared little boy who is crying out for attention and love. Pobrecito. Let’s get Biff some help and set him on a more positive path, but until then, you want to push around other kids? You’re a loser.

As I’ve gotten older, wiser, and funnier, I’ve observed that losers and their antagonizing behavior didn’t end at the playground; they grew their way into adulthood as well. Here’s a few of the losers I see nowadays:

1. The unsupportive spouse or significant other. When I have clients tell me that their spouse is not supportive of their living a healthier lifestyle to increase the longevity of their life while shaping their body in an increasingly positive way, which coincidentally also blooms one’s confidence and self-esteem in a multitude of wonderful ways, all I can think is—RUN. 

What kind of relationship do you have if your partner doesn’t care about your health? How arduous is it to change your life and make more positive choices if you live with a perpetually negative voice who enterprises to torpedo any progress you may make and oppresses you from ever moving forward? How exhausting is it to have to fight for every inch while pleading for support, only to find out that your ally is the opposition?

When clients have harmonious partners at home, I see them flourish. When their partners are negative about their aspirations, they ultimately fail. 

One of my favorite people once lost 60 pounds in three months. Her confidence swelled, she had extra pep in her step, and I’ve never seen her happier; she beamed. Her husband, the detractor, made the following statement to her, verbatim, “You lost too much weight. You look like a crackhead.” She put all 60 pounds plus some back on and has struggled to lose it since. 

Unsupportive spouses or partners are losers.

• 

2. Anyone unsupportive. This isn’t confined to the realm of health and fitness, but that’s my forte so we’ll stay within its sphere; however, feel free to extend this to any endeavor in your life. Trying to keep your nutrition or training on track while navigating a sea of voices that are constantly looking to capsize you is a tumultuous journey:

“Just have one. They’re delicious. You can just have one.”

“Come out for drinks with us. One night isn’t going to hurt you.”

“Why do you spend so much time and money at the gym? It’s not worth it.”

***You can sub every tired and boring detractor cliché you’ve ever heard to the quote below***

“blablablabla blippity bloop blablablabla”

If someone is working toward a goal, that’s struggle enough. Instead of supporting the person on that journey, why would you ever campaign for them falling off track when you know it’s in direct conflict with their ambition? Because you’re a loser.

3. Quitters. Not people who stop a venture but who give up on themselves. A temporary defeat doesn’t make you a loser. Success is a game of trying, failing, picking yourself back up, and moving forward. You only lose when you quit.

4. Anyone who is dropping any of the above baggage from their life. Anyone who recognizes the poison of the aforementioned individuals and seeks to eradicate any toxic voice, person, and negative self-talk from their existence. Anyone who is shutting out the naysayers, critics, pessimists, and doubters.

These people are losers. They’re losing all the garbage that is holding them back from getting what they want and achieving their wildest dreams and aspirations. How cool that these “losers” are going to end up the ultimate winners?

When I drafted this article, it started out tongue in cheek using the word “loser,” but the more I got into it, the more I believe it’s veracity. If someone’s giving you a hard time and isn’t a positive light in your life, lose them. I’m a naturally encouraging person. I truly believe all people can accomplish anything they desire, provided they are driven to undertake the expedition and persevere through the muck to reach their intention. I’m horrified when I see not only the lack of support some encounter from others in their life but the outright sabotage to their goals. 

Point blank, these saboteurs are losers. In losing them, you win.