Whether it’s reality or my perception of the world as I’ve aged, I feel 10-15 years ago, the trend of “fat shaming” was at its climax and at the forefront of mainstream conversation. Quite frankly, I think that behavior sucks. I hate bullies. I got picked on by bullies when I was younger and have zero tolerance for it.
In my youth, I remember “yo mamma so fat” jokes, Fat Bastard from Austin Powers, Fat Albert—I could be wrong, but it seems taboo today to crack jokes about someone’s weight. Good.
The pendulum swings both ways.
I remember a story that received national attention, years ago, about a mother who had just given birth, worked her ass off, and got back into amazing shape in record time. The story became mainstream because it was so polarizing: many found it inspiring and motivational, while the majority seemed to despise the woman and accused her of “fat shaming” others through sharing her hard work and results online.
I never really gave two thoughts about it personally because, quite frankly, if someone in my world is being negative, that person’s on the fast track to being kicked out of my world, but I’ve been “fit shamed” since I was 13 and started working out.
“You don’t want a piece of cake? What’s your problem? Chris doesn’t want any birthday cake; what a party pooper!”
“Well, all we’re having is pizza, and you should just have some. Everyone else would feel awkward if you bring a separate meal.”
“Oh, Chris and Gina, no drinks for them; you guys are just SO much fun!”
I hear stories from clients:
“You’re losing too much weight; you look like a crackhead.”
(Side note: this woman lost over 50 pounds training with me, in record time, and still had another 30lbs. she wanted to drop. After her husband made the above comment to her, she put all 50lbs. back on, with an extra ten on top of that, and has been struggling to lose it since.)
“Size zero? You skinny bitch. You’re going to look anorexic.”
(Side note: this girl looks phenomenal, is jacked, and probably eats more than most guys.)
“Why do you spend so much time in the gym? You look great already. Come have some drinks with us. You only live once.”
(Side note: this girl trains four x per week. If you do the math, that works out to be a little less than 2% of her entire week. She also says, “I used to drink my life away in bars until I realized how miserable I was and decided to make a change.”)
Since when did it become a negative to take care of yourself, work hard, and eat healthy? Or are the people who make negative comments about your health and fitness endeavors just borrowing from the same lame, old, and tired playbook of every stereotypical bully: projecting their insecurities and self-doubts onto you.
I like to think that. Whether a bully must make a comment about someone because that person is in shape, is out of shape, has red hair, has blue hair, or whatever, it usually has nothing to do with the person on the receiving end of the barb but rather the asshole throwing it.
Don’t slight anyone. Period. We’re all at different places in our fitness journey. Everyone has different goals, and we’re all at different levels of participation.
Maybe the woman you’re chiding for bringing her own meal to the party is a full time mom who’s working hard to be a healthy and viable mother for her children and also wants her husband to look at her when she gets out of the shower and still WANT her.
Maybe the guy you’re razzing about the time he’s been putting into the gym lately has been intimidated by the gym his entire life and overcame years of self doubt to finally cement a positive change in his life and just so happens to be EXCITED about it.
Maybe the girl you just peer pressured into eating pizza and having a few drinks has been overweight her entire life, always yo-yo’d with her fitness efforts, and is desperately hanging on by a thread to try and make this the time she sticks it out long term and garners sustainable results.
No one gives anyone a hard time for not trying, nor should they. So knock it off with giving people a hard time for trying. They’re choosing not to eat shit and certainly don’t want to eat yours.
About the author
Chris Rombola
Chris is the owner of Fit House. He's run the training departments at several commercial gyms, and after years of seeing how awful those environments were for his clients, he opened his own studio. He is devoted to getting people strong, lean, and healthy.
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