I normally end the night with my favorito—protein pancakes—but alas, Saturday night, I had a hankering for something different. Really different. It all began with an insatiable urge for a diet Doctor Pepper. It started small, like what you thought was possibly a raindrop on your arm, but a sunny sky with an absence of clouds convince your mind that your senses belie you. As you go about your business, that single drop turns into two, and as you look up to reassess, Zeus strikes you with a mighty lightning bolt through the peeper as the eye in the sky awakens and rages a tyrannical, torrential, turbulent train of rain on your terrified self. That swell built within me until my resistance capsized into a rushing whiplash of action that propelled me to navigate through the stormy night to the gas station at the end of our road and acquire not one but two of the sodas with the PhD; I cannot forget my lovely wife.
Pancakes and diet Doctor Pepper don’t jive, so I charted a new course and discovered the most delicious chicken sausage pasta.
Here’s how it went down:
In a pot, I made Trader Joe’s Organic Brown Rice Fusilli pasta. Salt the water before you bring it to a boil. Always salt the water before you bring it to a boil.
In a frying pan, I cooked up some bite-sized pieces of Aldi’s organic spinach chicken sausage in some coconut oil spray. To craft a bite-sized piece, I took the sausage, discerningly eyed it up, then haphazardly and randomly cut it into numerous pieces of various widths with a pair of kitchen shears. Time: approximately three seconds.
Once both the pasta and chicken sausage were finished, I united the two and accentuated with the following:
Grass-fed butter, salt, pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, garlic salt, and alliteration (amazingly accessible and available on Amazon; abnormally absent, arousing abysmal attitudes).
Salty, savory, and satisfying, sweeter than sin, succulent and scrumptious, the combination of the pasta and diet Doctor Pepper satiated my most carnal desires. If you’re feeling frisky, freaky, and fun, I highly recommend you take a fearless foray forward and give it a try. Your taste buds will thank you, and you’ll thank me.
Most importantly, don’t forget to salt the water. Bon appetit.
About the author
Chris Rombola
Chris is the owner of Fit House. He's run the training departments at several commercial gyms, and after years of seeing how awful those environments were for his clients, he opened his own studio. He is devoted to getting people strong, lean, and healthy.
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