“I’m sick of being fat!” she exclaimed.
As I listened to her, an out of town acquaintance who stopped by to say “hello”—and yes, I have her permission to share this story—my mind started making calculations. By her own declaration, she was “thirty f’n pounds” overweight and sick of being unhappy about the way she looks and feels.
“I wish I lived here, I would train with you,” she blurted. “I can’t afford training where I live. The market is insane. And eating healthy is so expensive. At least in Buffalo, the cost of living is lower.” I scanned her up and down. As she related her plight, I couldn’t take my eyes off her perfectly manicured nails. Then I noticed her purse. I’m guessing Louis Vuitton is expensive. Fake or real? She had the biggest iPhone I have ever seen. iPhone X? XX? XXXL? She previously shared that she had just purchased a BMW. Her fake and bake tan was on point with my natural Italian glow. Not bad for an Irish woman. I kept coming back to those perfect nails.
“Maybe you’re wasting your money on things that don’t matter in an attempt to make yourself feel pretty and cover up your unhappiness about your weight,” I said as my wife, Gina, looked at me in horror with her you-can’t-say-that-to-people look on her face.
“What do you mean?” our acquaintance asked. She’s not the type who’s easily offended.
“I mean, you have every beauty accessory possible going for you, except the body you want. And with the body you want also comes the health and energy you want. Materialistically, you look perfect: hair, nails, clothes, car. That must cost you a fortune in upkeep!”
“Not really….”
“Really? I’m guessing your nails are about $50 every two weeks. There’s $100 a month. I’m sure you have no problem plopping down $150+ every time you get your hair cut and colored. The iPhone and designer clothes probably cost quite a bit. You did tell me you were one of the crazies, I mean, dedicated, who waited outside of the Apple store to lay down almost a cool grand for the new iPhone. I’m sure the BMW cost something—I know you, I’m sure yours is loaded. Tanning bed for the month. How much is your cable package? You love to eat out multiple times per week and drink. If we sat down and figured everything out, we could probably find the money that you say you don’t have. I’m aware the price of training is much higher is Boston, but I’m sure we can figure it out and still keep the other things that make you happy, albeit, maybe not quite as much, and have some change to spare.”
“Uh…”
“No one is saying you have to cut all of these things out. I’m sure it feels great to get your nails done or cruise around in a deluxe BMW. Would you be happier going out to eat three times a week plus drinks or having an ass that holds up a pair of jeans and not jeans that hold up your ass?”
All I was driving at was her priorities. She talked a mean game about wanting to get leaner and healthy, but her priorities lay in material items. There’s nothing wrong with material items. I feel awesome in a new pair of sneakers or clothes. I feel great every time I get my hair cut. I know what feels even better though—getting out of the shower in the morning and being happy with what I see.
“It’s your business how you spend your hard earned money,” I said. “However, I’m just pointing out that if getting leaner, and I hope healthier as well, were truly a priority, you would make it work.”
And with that, we started talking about something else.
She’ll never change. I love her and have known her forever. I don’t care if she’s overweight; she’s my friend. I would like to see her healthy, though. Three years from now, we’ll be having the same conversation, only she’ll want to lose 50 pounds by then. Last year when we spoke, she had 20 pounds she needed to lose. And the cycle continues.
That’s the end of the story. No great moral. No “I saved someone and got her on track” happy conclusion. Life is about priorities, what’s important to you. I’m of the mindset that you can pretty much have it all, should you choose, but you must shift the balance meter toward what is most important to you. I pay mucho dinero each month to work with my training mentors. They are the deluxe, top notch, top dollar edition. If you haven’t guessed by now, my health, looking awesome, and being a super smart trainer for all my clients is my financial priority. I just leased a new truck. It’s not the loaded, top of the line version, but it’s very nice, and I was able to finagle the same price I was paying for my Mazda. I could have gotten the loaded version, but I would have had to make cuts somewhere else. I get my hair cut every week; it makes me feel good. My wife and I rarely go out for dinner now and never go out for drinks. That’s not as important to us as the other stuff and saves us around $400-$500 a month. When my wife wants new clothes, she first purges our clothing and brings it down to Plato’s Closet. When we buy gifts for others or go to a wedding, we are always generous. I can’t bear the idea of anyone ever saying we weren’t classy.
My health, body, and vitality are the most important things to me. Everything else is awesome but just the icing on the cake. In my experience, investing in my health, body, and vitality makes me the happiest. Maybe you feel the same; maybe you don’t. We can still be friends.
About the author
Chris Rombola
Chris is the owner of Fit House. He's run the training departments at several commercial gyms, and after years of seeing how awful those environments were for his clients, he opened his own studio. He is devoted to getting people strong, lean, and healthy.
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